Sally Hylands, 68, lives in Eastbourne with Clifford, her teenage sweetheart, whom she married in 1979. She is now one of just three national finalists up for Headway’s Carer of the Year Award sponsored by Hugh James Solicitors.
Her nomination recognises her unwavering dedication to Clifford in the aftermath of him sustaining a life-changing brain injury which, as Sally said, “Saw their lives change overnight”.
The accolade will be presented by Headway – the brain injury association, at its glittering awards ceremony on December 8 at the Landmark London hotel.
In June 2002, Sally and Clifford returned home from a gathering where people had noticed that Clifford wasn’t his usual self – the life and soul of the party.
Clifford initially thought he had a bad attack of indigestion until, at 3am, he collapsed with a heart attack in front of Sally.
She immediately called an ambulance and, although they responded very quickly, it took 20 minutes before Clifford began to breathe again, resulting in anoxic brain damage. Sally still remembers the terrifying words the paramedics repeated: “no output.” Clifford was just 46 years old.
He was admitted to intensive care and remained in a coma for four weeks. The prognosis was bleak. Sally said: “I sat at his bedside begging him to pull through, vowing I would take anything back as long as he didn’t die.”
After four immensely challenging weeks, Sally’s sister-in-law found a leaflet for their local brain injury charity Headway Sussex - known as HSX - and life changed once again.
They made contact and, with Headway’s help, Sally and Clifford met Mike Hope. He was the ABI (acquired brain injury) Coordinator for East Sussex and Brighton & Hove and he offered immediate support.
Mike said: “My enduring memory of Sally in the very early days was of this tiny but very determined woman standing up to doctors who wanted her to sign a ‘do not resuscitate’ document regarding Clifford. They were convinced he would not survive, or if he did, would remain in a permanent vegetative state. Sally was having none of it. And Clifford survived.”
When Clifford miraculously woke from the coma, he was moved to a side room on a general medical ward. He was disorientated, confused and agitated, so Sally and Clifford’s sister remained with him, taking turns sleeping on the only available recliner chair.
Clifford continued in his agitated state throughout his 5-month admission, so Sally remained with him during the day, then would slip away in the evening when Clifford fell asleep, returning at 6am.
As he kept pulling out his gastronomy tube, Sally also helped Clifford re-learn to eat, starting with melon and yoghurt. Sally recalls one occasion when the ward staff told her that Clifford wanted curry for breakfast. So, Sally found a shop that opened early enough to grant Clifford’s wish.
Due to his brain injury, Clifford had very little speech, poor eyesight, lack of cognitive understanding and virtually no mobility, and it was clear the couple had a long journey ahead of them.
Sally eventually returned to work part-time, but she still went to the hospital every morning to give Clifford his breakfast and returned to him after work.
Clifford spent a further four months on the general ward, and then Mike Hope referred him to a specialist residential neurorehabilitation centre in Dorking, where he spent ten months.
Sally has been nominated for Headway’s Carer of the Year Award by Michele Fleming from Headway Sussex. She said: “On behalf of everyone at Headway East Sussex, I am very proud to nominate Sally.
Sally has been an active member of the HSX Eastbourne Support Group since she joined it in 2002. Sally uses her personal experience of brain injury to help others and has given talks about her and Clifford’s journey to help others.
Talking in public is nerve-wracking for Sally, who finds it quite intimidating, but she is always willing to do this as she feels her story is a powerful way to educate others.
She deserves this award in recognition of the care she gives Clifford and for her significant contribution to supporting other families living with the effects of brain injury.
Sally has become strong and has never sought recognition, caring for Clifford and holding the family together. She supports Clifford through the frustrations and challenges that result from his injury, and she celebrates with him all that he achieves despite his injury.
Clifford had a specific goal to work on at the HSX Day Service, which Sally has helped him achieve along with the HSX team. Although Clifford has to use a wheelchair most of the time, he wanted to be able to walk his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. Following tremendous effort in the gym at HSX, Clifford achieved that goal on July 10, 2017. It was a magical moment for all the family and the team.
Sally is a truly remarkable person, always showing Clifford love, dignity and respect even when the going gets tough. She responds with gentle patience, never losing sight of the teenage sweetheart that she married.”
Speaking about her Headway award nomination, Sally said: “I feel very humbled and very honoured to be nominated, but I think it’s not about me; it’s about all these people who have suddenly been thrust into this role of carer, where the family dynamics have changed, overnight in our case.
Life as a carer can be challenging and tiring, so it’s wonderful for that to be recognised. It’s a bit of a morale boost.”
Mike Hope added: “I can think of no one more deserving of the Carer of the Year award than Sally. She has gone from someone who knew nothing about acquired brain injury (ABI) but cared, to someone who publicly challenged her MP about what needs to be done for people living with ABI.
“She’s now being a leader and a mentor for others. God bless Sally Hylands - she is an inspiration to us all.”
Back